


Catharsis

by theonewiththeeyebrows



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always-a-girl!Stiles, Cancer, F/M, Genderbending, Minor Character Death, Shaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2012-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-19 03:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonewiththeeyebrows/pseuds/theonewiththeeyebrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles shaves her head. This is her story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for the MiniBang, but I didn't have 5 pieces (I only had 3).
> 
> Stiles is and has always been a girl in this verse. If this story looks/feels familiar, it might be because I wrote it with canon!Stiles for the Fanfiction contest (even though the original idea was always-a-girl!Stiles). 
> 
> Beta'd by a friend, and Elizabeth. All remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated.

`It's August the first time Stiles shaves her head. Her mom's been in the hospital for two weeks now and Stiles is in the library everyday looking up everything she can about cancer and treatments. Mrs. Hudson, the librarian, loves her. Stiles' sure that’s the reason Mrs. Hudson always sighs when her dad comes to pick her up. 

It's the day before her mom's birthday and she's at the library again, giving Mrs. Hudson a headache with her questions. Mrs. Hudson's got that pinched look on her face that, had Stiles been paying attention, meant that she was about to be scolded. Luckily her dad comes to pick her up with a plate of cookies in his hand, just as Mrs. Hudson’s face turns the unsightly shade of puce. 

When she's buckled in the back seat of her Dad's cruiser, he turns around and smiles at her. "Can we shave our heads?" Stiles asks suddenly, and her Dad hesitates.

"Uh..."

"Well, I was asking Mrs. Hudson about the radiation treatment and chemotherapy thing." 

"Yeah?" 

"And she said that they make people bald, and the last time we went to see mom she was wearing that puffy hat to hide her baldness. So maybe if we all were bald together, she might get a laugh out of it." She fiddles her thumbs together.

"You know, your mom would love that." 

"Can we have fake mustaches, too?" Stiles asks, enthusiastically. She smiles brilliantly at her father when they stop at the party store to pick up some party hats, mustaches and a 'dapper giraffe'. The giraffe with the top hat makes Stiles laugh because the giraffe is so tall, why would it need a top hat? 

When they get home, Stiles tugs her dad to the bathroom and hands him the electric razor. "Me first!" 

Stiles watches in fascination as her hair falls into the sink in long chunks that tangle around her fingers, and when her dad is done shaving her head, she can't help but run her hand over her head again and again. It feels like the porcupine that her homeroom teacher keeps in class.

Her dad sends her off to shower as he tackles his own hair, and Stiles watches tiny pieces of hair float in the excessive shampoo foam as they makes their way to the drain. She pulls on her Batman pajamas, she is totally going to be Batman when she grows up, and heads to the kitchen. Her dad's already made her mac and cheese and put it in her Wonder Woman bowl, so Stiles starts eating as her dad gathers his own food and joins her.

The next morning, she wakes up before her dad does. She wishes her mom was home because it's her birthday, and Stiles and her dad usually make her mom breakfast in bed with waffles with strawberries, whipped cream and a ton of pancake syrup, bacon, and her favorite homemade caramel Frappuccino with extra caramel and a dash of hot cocoa powder and cinnamon. Just thinking about it makes her sad, so she pushes open the door to her parents’ room and cuddles into her father's warmth, waiting for him to wake up. It isn’t unusual for Stiles to sneak into the room and crawl up between her parents. She’d always inadvertently elbow someone in the stomach and her mom would curl around Stiles and tickle her till Stiles begged for mercy. Stiles snuggles closer to her dad at the memory. 

When they finally get dressed and leave, Stiles is wearing the frock that her mom loves – it is white and has purple lilies on it. Her dad stops at the flower shop and she taps her foot impatiently. She grumbles when they get caught in traffic on the highway, and her dad has to bribe her with the promise of Chuck-e Cheese. When they reach the hospital, she pushes open the car door even before her dad is completely parked and scampers off, a cloud of balloons trailing behind her as she follows the route that has become as familiar as the back of her hands. Her dad yells after her, but she can't wait to see her mom, so she doesn't stop. 

The nurse exiting the room almost trips over her, and she apologizes as she screeches to a halt at the foot of her mom's bed. She's looking at Stiles with a bewildered expression on her face before she cracks up, her laughter like the comforting sound of a wind chime. 

"What happened to your hair?" she snorts, and Stiles grins at her mischievously.

"Happy Birthday, Alice!" She turns to look at her dad as her mom breaks into another fit of laughter.

"It was Stiles' idea. She thought you'd like that we were all matching." He walks to the side of the bed and kisses her mom.

"I do. I love it. Help me take off my cap!" Stiles climbs up onto the bed as her dad pulls off the cap. 

"I got this for you." She sticks out both her hands, one holding the balloons and the other the dapper giraffe, and she smiles smugly when her mother giggles at the giraffe like she did, eyes twinkling brightly despite the dark circles and tiredness. 

Her dad tucks the red carnation he brought behind her mom's ear. Her mom shifts over and he sits down next to her, and Stiles crawls in between them, reveling in the moment she’d missed out on that morning. The nurse offers to take a picture and Stiles smiles, all teeth and sparkly eyes. 

It's the last time she remembers her mother smile. 

After that, her mom looks wearier and wearier every time that she visits and she can barely stay awake for the fifteen minutes that Stiles gets to be in the room with her. Her dad comes home later and later, smelling more and more like the pungent smelling brown liquid that he drinks with dinner. It's the week before Stiles’ birthday, the one where she plans to wish for her mom to get better, that Stiles’ mom dies. 

Stiles refuses to celebrate her birthday for the next four years, and when Mrs. Keller from across the street invites them over for Thanksgiving, even that seems too cheerful for her.

*

The second time she shaves her head, it's a week after her sixteenth birthday.

Stiles has been saving money for a car since she was thirteen and realized that in three years she could legally drive. But she finds 'Buttercup' on her annual August trip to the junkyard. Buttercup's in shambles and her forest green paint is chipping off, but she is nevertheless perfect. It's funny that she finds Buttercup on the anniversary of her mother’s death, but she takes that as a good sign. With a little help from her dad and a lot of help from the Internet, Stiles fixes her up, slowly but surely. She rebuilds Buttercup’s hood and paints her blue, because Mr. Lopez at the auto shop — where she spends all her free time so that she can learn about cars -- is about to throw the canister out because apparently, nobody ever wants to paint their car powder blue. She wonders if that’s a sign that Buttercup wants to be called Bubbles instead.

It sucks that her birthday is over Thanksgiving weekend, because the DMV is closed and she has to wait until Monday to get her license. But she uses the time to put the finishing touches on Buttercup even though she knows that she will be driving her dad's car to the test. 

She passes; she suspects it’s because the instructor just wanted her to stop talking, but she isn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so she works to keep her mouth shut as they take her photograph and hand her the license. Her dad finally allows her to start driving to school on Thursday.

Scott, her best (and possibly, only) friend in the world, and the reason she started celebrating her birthday again, was busy over Thanksgiving because his dad and step-mom were visiting. So they had a birthday celebration and an 'I-passed-my-driver's-test' celebration pending. Stiles figured they should go all out, so on Friday she stops at the gas station to fill her tank up, and picks up a map of California. When she picks Scott up, she lays out the map on Buttercup's hood.

"We're going to Sacramento, Scotty my boy!" she hoots, circling Sacramento with a black sharpie before pumping her fist in the air, "and all our wildest dreams will come true!" 

Scott, bless his heart, smiles his crooked smile and nods somewhat enthusiastically, even though his eyes dart sideways and betray his hesitation. She smiles at him regardless and slides into Buttercup, tossing her backpack into the back seat after she pulls out her Death Cab CD. 

When they reach Sacramento, they drive around aimlessly. Coming to Sacramento had seemed like a good idea at the time, but they haven't got fake IDs yet, so it isn't like they can go to a bar or something. Stiles makes a mental note to acquire a couple once they're back in Beacon Hills. 

"Dude! Dude!" Scott taps on her arm, pointing to a theater on the left. 

"Seriously, dude?" Stiles raises an eyebrow at him as she sees the giant sign that says 'The Vagina Monologues'.

"What? Don't judge me. It's a show about Vaginas. I'd watch that, and let's be honest, you would too. You're the one that's been pining for Lydia since third grade and there's a show in thirty minutes." 

"Fine. Dude. Whatever." They find parking five streets over and have to jog back to the theater and almost don't make it in time. 

The lady selling tickets looks at them skeptically as she hands them their change along with two stubs and tells them that it is open seating. The theater is half-full, and most of the audience is female. Scott grabs her arm when the lights start to dim and she's about to slide in next to a couple of girls who are dressed in leather and are looking at Scott like they might turn his innards into outtards. 

When they're finally seated, well away from leather ladies, the theater is dark and the producer comes out and tells them to turn their cell phones off. Stiles and Scott are crouched down into their seats by the time the introduction ends. Stiles is holding her knees together in a way she hasn't done in years. The second piece makes her squirm even more and the third one makes her laugh at certain parts. The fourth one is about an old lady and she sits up as she starts to enjoy the show. When she glances over at Scott, he's still hunched down in his seat, hands covering his face even though there are gaps between his fingers. By the end of the piece, Stiles is a little emotional. 

When a short black woman with an Afro comes out and talks about her angry vagina, Stiles doesn't even notice that she's become a part of the crowd interacting with their "uh, huh!"s and "You tell it, girl!"s until Scott's giggling next to her and she has to move back into her seat to ask. As empowered as that piece made her feel, the one that followed leaves her weeping and Scott holds her hand as the actor talks about the atrocities that had been committed against her person. There is a piece when the actor moans in a variety of different ways that makes Stiles shrink back into her seat, and turn away from Scott. She blushes so hard as she looks everywhere but at Scott. 

"Uh. What the hell was that?" Scott whispers, still a little shell shocked, when the lights go down for the last time.

"I don't know. But it was awesome!" Stiles stands up with the crowd, applauding enthusiastically as the cast comes on for their final bow. Stiles feels energized in a way she hasn't in a long time, as they leave their row and get into the queues for the exit.

"It was good. But it was scary! And the moans. Oh God. I wanted to die!" Scott is still whispering, horrified, as they walk back to Buttercup.

"I'll buy you a Shake from In-N-Out to make up for it." Scott just nods enthusiastically as they climb inside the Jeep. 

Scott falls asleep on the drive back to Beacon Hills. Her mind goes back to the show and she can't help but think that her mother would have enjoyed it. She probably would have taken Stiles to go see the show and afterward, they would have talked for hours about women's issues and rights. As her mind whirs, she feels her chest tighten as her breaths shorten and her heart starts racing. The panic builds. She swerves into the shoulder and presses on the breaks, jerking Scott awake. She's got her arms wrapped around her waist to keep herself from flying apart, and she rocks forward into the steering wheel. Scott wrenches the door of the driver's seat open -- she hadn't noticed him moving -- and pulls her out, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing comforting circles along her back. When she calms down, they sit on the hood of her car because she's still shaking and Scott doesn't have his license yet. 

"I feel like I'm forgetting her." Stiles whispers, head tucked under Scott's chin. "I feel like I didn't even know her. Like she was awesome, and I don't know. I don't know how awesome she was and I won't ever get the chance to learn. I don't know how she had me as a kid -- this spastic loser who is a terrible daughter." 

"You're not a loser, Stiles." Scott says, so sincerely that Stiles almost believes him. "And your dad loves you."

"He loves me. But that doesn't mean I'm not a terrible daughter." 

"Yeah, but..."

"But, what?" Stiles teases. 

"Are you done making fun of me? You're a terrible friend, you know that." Scott laughs, pulling Stiles close and rubbing his face in her hair. "But I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're my best friend. You're like the sister I didn't have, except better because we don't have that sibling rivalry crap --"

"Your mom loves me more." Stiles teases, pulling away to stick her tongue out at Scott.

"You wish, Stilinski." Scott ruffles her hair, as he jumps off the car and holds a hand out to her, a hand that she ignores as she stumbles of the car and falls into an ungraceful heap of tangled limbs. The rest of the drive back is spent singing loudly to the Fall Out Boy CD she has in her player.

"Oh crap!" Stiles turns the volume of the stereo down when she sees her dad's cruiser in Scott's driveway from the end of the street, and they guiltily realize that they'd both forgotten to take their phones off silent. 

When they pull into the driveway, their parents are waiting. Mrs. McCall grabs Scott by the ear and pulls him into the house. 

"Go home, get dressed for bed and brush your teeth. Leave your car keys on the table in the entryway. No car for a week." Her dad shakes his head in disappointment before walking to his car. 

She's just pulled on her Wonder Woman shorts on when her dad knocks on her door. She opens her door with a pre-emptive, "I'm sorry!" 

"Stiles." 

"I know. I know. I'm so sorry, dad. I took Scott to Sacramento for a celebration and I know it was past curfew, but I had a panic attack on the way back and --"

"Hold on! Panic attack? Stiles, it's been two years since you've had one of those." 

"No calm down, dad! Scott helped me get it under control. I just -- I missed her a lot one moment and it got out of control." 

The tension in her dad's shoulders dissipates, and his eyes soften with sadness. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He pulls her into a hug and presses a kiss to her forehead that has her blinking back tears. "She'd know how to do better by you. I'm so sorry,” he mumbles into her forehead.

"No. Don't. Dad." She pulls away. "Don't. You're the best. You have no idea. I'm so sorry for always being such a disappointment. I'm sorry I'm so uncontrollable, but I don't know how to be better. I don't know how to not meddle." 

"Stiles – sweetheart, you are not a disappointment! Why would you think that? You aren't. You are so much like your mom. She'd say the silliest things to pull a smile out of someone, and she couldn't let things be either. She was naturally inquisitive, her big brown eyes would light up just like yours do. I just worry. I'm allowed to worry, aren't I? I'm the father of a teenage daughter after all." He smiles at her lopsided before he draws her in again. "I love you so much, Stiles. I'm so scared sometimes."

It's the first time they've spoken to each other so honestly in years, and long after her dad's gone to sleep she lies in bed thinking of her mom. When it gets to be too much, she opens her closet and pulls out the shoe box that she's kept of her mom's things- her favorite perfume, her wedding ring, her great-grandmother's hair clip and a bunch of letters that her dad had written to her mom when she'd been away for college. She pulls out the framed picture- the one where they're bald. Her dad and her mom are looking at each other with such adoration it takes her breath away. She rubs her thumb over her mom's face and wonders what she was like in real life -- Stiles has some memories, but she wonders if she's anything like her mom. She puts the box away as the idea strikes her. 

She sets the photograph on the ledge above the sink, and pulls her dad's electric razor out of the medicine cabinet. It whirs loudly when it starts, and she smacks herself mentally for trying to 'shush' it. 

When she's done, she goes to bed, hugging the photograph and feeling closer to her mom than she has in a long time. 

*

The third time Stiles shaves her head, it’s about two years later. She almost doesn’t do it, but ultimately, she does. 

They've had a shit year, and Stiles is just grateful that they haven't died by the time Christmas rolls around. She's eighteen, and for the first time in her life, she has more than three people she cares about. Even with her stubborn reluctance, Derek, Isaac, Boyd, Erica and even Jackson (will wonders ever cease?) have somehow wormed their way into her heart. 

She knows what she’s signed up for when she strong-arms, or rather puppy-dog-eyes, Derek into a pre-Christmas celebration, but she is still wholly unprepared for just how much work it is. She's been cooking constantly for the last two days, and since she adamantly refuses to get store-bought food, she cooks everything from scratch, including the cranberry sauce (who knew saucing cranberries could be so complicated?). She's pretty sure her dad thinks she's crazy when she crosses the street to check if Mrs. Keller will let Stiles use the freezer in her garage. 

Scott shows up around midnight the night before the dinner -- mostly to steal food, but he comes bearing a gift, so she lets him in. Afterwards, they lay on the roof for hours talking about the Argents, particularly his tragic romance with Allison (which really? ‘Allison, O Allison, wherefore art thou Allison?’) and she hopes their story, at least, is less of a tragedy that Romeo's and Juliet’s was. When Scott leaves, Stiles climbs inside and remembers she forgot to thank Scott for the gift. 

It is an ornate hair-clip with aged metal and a beautiful blue-stoned songbird on it. She wonders where Scott found it, and why he gave it to her. She wasn’t particularly girly -- she wore the occasional dress to remind the boys that she wasn’t actually one-of-the-boys -- but she was more comfortable in her dad’s old plaid shirts and her sassy t-shirts and baggy jeans, and Scott knew that. But she loves it as soon as she sees it, and she’s glad that he gave it to her and not anyone else.

The dinner is on the 23rd because Stiles figures everyone, except perhaps Derek and Isaac, will want to spend time with their families over the actual holiday. Derek and Isaac have been invited to celebrate at Casa de Stilinski; Stiles somehow doubts they'll show up. Well, maybe Isaac will. 

Erica and Boyd are the first to arrive. They laugh at her when she says they have to kiss because they're under the mistletoe, but they kiss anyway. 

Her dad answers the door when Lydia, Jackson, Scott and Isaac arrive at the same time, and Stiles quietly bemoans her missed opportunity to kiss Lydia under the mistletoe, which puts another damper in her 15-year plan. When Scott comes to the kitchen to steal food, Stiles looks at him expectantly, but he fails to notice the bird pinned to her hair. 

When Derek arrives, Stiles accidently slams the door open and it startles both of them. Derek's eyes dart up to the hairpin and then down to her face, an unfamiliar warmth in his gaze that sends a shiver up Stiles' spine. She steps backwards to allow Derek in when Erica yells "Kiss!" and there's a chorus of hoots and wolf-whistles. Stiles can feel the heat of her blush curl up her neck, and she silently hopes that Derek cannot sense her discomfort. She shakes his head violently at the pack with a stern “Shut up!” and waves them off, Derek rocking on his heels behind Stiles.

Dinner is a relatively uneventful affair, but once they're settled around the electric fire in the living room, waiting for Stiles' famous pumpkin and ginger cheesecake, and caramel apple pie a la mode, the crowd gets a little rambunctious. Derek is hanging back, watching his pack happy and content, a small smile playing on his lips, while Stiles watches him as he walks around them, fingers dancing along mundane things like the fairy lights and the stockings, and the photos on the mantle. She doesn’t even realize she’s moved, till she’s tugging the frame out of Derek’s hands, a frown on her face. 

“Stiles?” Derek asks, voice unusually shaky.

“Sorry. Sorry.” She pulls her hands away quickly when she realizes what she’s done, and wipes them on the skirt of her dress. Why are they so sweaty?

“Is that-?” 

“My mom. It was her birthday. She had cancer.” Stiles chokes on her words. “It’s why my dad and I shaved our heads -- to make her smile. It’s why I had buzzed hair when we met. I just miss her so much, y’know? I felt like if I shaved my head, maybe it’d help me feel a little closer to her.” 

“Oh.” Derek looks surprised, and Stiles stumbles over an apology for over-sharing before she turns around to ask if anyone wants seconds with an exaggerated smile fixed firmly in place. There is a chorus of agreement over more dessert and Allison comes in just as Stiles scoops ice-cream out into the bowls with pie in them. She snags a bowl, and initiates a loud and enthusiastic game of ‘Charades’. On their second round of 'Guess the Word!’ Derek steps out to make a phone-call. 

Stiles is jittery from the sugar and overheated from the crowded room with hot-blooded werewolves by the time she steps outside, the living room still loud with chatter and music even though it is almost midnight, but she’s feeling a little melancholic. She leans over the railing on the edge of the porch and sighs. She sees Derek prop himself up on his arms and turn around where he's laid out in the backyard, so Stiles walks over and flops down beside him. 

"Dude! It is so pretty here! How have I not known that I can see the stars from my backyard?" 

"Thank you for this." Derek's voice is quiet and sincere. He’s propped up on his elbow and looking down at Stiles, who just turns her head to look at Derek, surprised.

"Uh."

"I don't think I realized how much we needed this; I can feel how happy they all are. But I didn't realize how happy I'd be." Derek holds his gaze steadily. She can't help but jerk when Derek's hand comes over to touch her hair. "I didn't think you'd wear it. You never wear such girly things." She looks at him quizzically. “Laura’s hair clip,” he explains and Stiles lets out a surprised murmur. Derek’s eyes grow soft around the corners, and the new, but still somehow familiar warmth in her belly returns when his thumb strokes across her cheek. She lets out a shocked gasp when she feels Derek’s lips flutter against hers for just a second before Derek flops back into the grass. He doesn't say anything- no apologies or stuttered explanations, and for that, Stiles is grateful. She closes his eyes and holds her breath for a second, fingers twitching to pinch herself to see if it’s a dream, before she opens them again to stare at the stars in silence. 

*

She isn’t quite sure what she expected was going to happen, but she’s fairly certain it wasn’t this.  
Derek avoids her and Stiles puts up with it until just past the New Year. She decides she’s had enough and is a little surprised at the anger she feels at getting the cold-shoulder, but then she realizes what day it is, and her anger diffuses quickly. She’s got her mind made up and it takes a surprisingly little amount of self-reassurance before she drives to the Hale house. The house is no longer the burnt shell it used to be. It took a long time to convince Derek that it needed to be renovated, but now it stands half rebuilt, one section of the house completed first so that Derek and Isaac could move back in. She cautiously gets out of the car just as Derek swings open the door and swaggers out in his jeans and wife-beater. "What do you want, Stiles?"

"You can't just—Man— You—" She doesn't know what she's trying to say. For the first time in a long time, words fail her miserably, so she holds her hands up, her dad's razor gripped tightly in one hand and the cord in the other. “I know it wasn’t cancer. And that it isn’t the same, but I thought –” Derek's shoulders slump, tension leaving them so quickly Stiles is scared he might fall down. 

It's been two years to the day since Laura Hale was brutally murdered. January 10th.

When Stiles was driving over to the Hale house, she’d thought that perhaps Derek could shave her head in memory of his sister, but when Derek pulls a stool into the bathroom and sits down on it, Stiles looks at him in awe. Her hands shake as the razor hums, but as soon as it touches Derek’s hair, they are steady as a surgeon’s. She sticks her tongue out in concentration as she uses deft strokes to shear Derek’s hair. When Derek’s shoulders shake under her fingers, Stiles looks up at the mirror in concern, and draws a soothing hand down his back, seeing a tear slip down his cheek. When she’s done, she swings Derek around and cups his face gently, her thumb catching tears as they fall freely down his face. Fear is the last thing on her mind when she presses forward, kissing them up to the corner of Derek’s eyes, and Derek lets out a shuddered breath in response. She pulls away and steps back to allow Derek to stand up. Leading Derek over to the sink, she bends his head under the flow of water, lathering her hands with shampoo and washing the stray hair away. When she’s done, she hands Derek the towel and sits down on the stool. Derek moves towards the door, towel still over his head, but stops when he realizes Stiles isn’t following. He lets out a startled gasp when he sees her on the chair, looking at him expectantly.

“Are you sure?” He whispers; it makes sense even though they’re the only ones in the room. She nods, unclipping the bird that has been in her hair since the day before Christmas Eve.

Derek takes the razor in his hand, and takes a deep breath when he catches Stiles’ eye in the mirror. When he turns it on, his hands don’t shake like Stiles’ did. Derek presses kisses to the bald patches as Stiles' hair falls away, and Stiles just sighs every time. The razor starts to shake in Derek's hands then, and Stiles brings her hands up to hold them steady. When it's done, she lets Derek wash her scalp in the sink. She reaches for the towel, but Derek stills her hands, towel caught between them. Stiles’ eyes widen, but she lets go and allows Derek to dry her head and run his hands over the stubble. The air around them buzzes with electricity and when Derek tosses the towel away, Stiles lets Derek hold her neck, pull her close, and press a chaste kiss to her chapped lips as her tongue darts out to wet them. She lets Derek twist his fist in her shirt, head rested on her shoulder as Derek murmurs a quiet 'thank you', body still shaking from the emotions swirling inside him. Stiles is familiar with that feeling. 

Stiles pulls away, holding her hand out to Derek and smiling encouragingly when he takes it. She silently leads him down the stairs to the sitting room where Derek settles down on the couch, and Stiles situates herself as close to him as she can. She turns on the TV and flips through channels until she finds some mindless entertainment -- she isn't ready to process all the feelings that are warring inside her at the moment. She leans into Derek and sighs, threading her fingers between his; she pulls one of his arms around her. Isaac finds them like that ten minutes later, looking like a deer caught in headlights and Stiles laughs, loud and hearty, as she gestures for him to join them. When he's finally settles by Derek's dangling foot, Stiles strokes a hand through Isaac's hair, and he hums in quiet contentment. Stiles is amused when the rest of the pack start to trickle in and join them in what she likes to call 'pack mentality'. It isn't unusual for them to show up at Derek's, but every time she's found them in happy 'puppy piles', they've somehow subconsciously formed by gravitating towards each other. The only indication that she gets that they notice their recently shorn heads is when Jackson raises and eyebrow at her, but doesn't say anything. 

“What the hell did they do to Derek’s hair?” Scott, who's been looking back and forth between everyone and the pair of them, eventually breaks the silence when he whispers loudly at Jackson, assuming he's the only one who doesn't know. The pack turns to them, and Stiles has a minor flashback of watching Children of the Corn with Scott when they were eleven. 

Derek nudges her, and when he looks up at him and nods, he tells them about Stiles’ theory, and how he thought he might find solace in the act since it is the anniversary of Laura’s death. 

"Can I shave my head too, dude?" Scott says sincerely, eyes wide. Chaos erupts as all the boys jump up and declare that they want to shave their heads. 

Lydia primly retouches her lipstick and glares at them when they look at her expectantly. "Er- No! If you come hear me with a razor, you will rue the day you were born. But, by all means, go ahead and shave your heads, but if you catch a cold, don't say I didn't warn you!" There is no heat or malice in her voice, and the boys smile menacingly at her before they help Jackson throw her over his shoulder and race up to the bathroom. 

"I'll help!" Allison runs behind them.

Derek and Stiles finally make it to the bathroom to find the place is a mess. There's water and hair everywhere. Allison and Lydia are washing Isaac's head, and Boyd is shaving Scott's head. Erica is sitting on a bathroom counter, not participating in the mess so Stiles goes and sits next to her and Erica links their arms together and rests her head on Stiles' shoulder, playing with the edge of Stiles' shirt. 

When all the boys are bald, Derek pushes them together, and makes them pose for a picture, and when they insist on Stiles being in the picture too, he sets the camera on the bathroom counter and joins them, Derek pulling her close. 

The next day Stiles gets an urgent text telling him to 'Come over. ASAP.' and when she walks in, she almost doesn't recognize Erica. Her long tresses have been replaced by a really short haircut that is reminiscent of Emma Watson's post-Harry Potter pixie cut, and Erica looks fantastic. Stiles presses a kiss to Erica's forehead, a little teary eyed, and whispers her gratitude. Derek then pulls her away to get her to transfer the pictures from last night onto his computer. When she pulls it up, she can't help but think of the picture on her mantle; Derek is looking at her with such adoration that her breath catches in her throat.

She wonders idly, when the boys shave their heads on her mom’s anniversary, if they’ve started a new tradition. It warms her heart, knowing that they’re now a part of something she’s always been afraid to share with others -- a part of her that she holds onto so tightly, she’s scared it’ll disappear if she gives it any leeway. Her dad may be her only blood relative, but the pack has made her pain its own has become an essential part of her family too, and she finally feels at home for the first time since her mother passed away.

**Works inspired by this one:**

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